New Sports Rules: Free Agency, Cycling, and Soul Patches

Sports leagues are always experimenting with new rules to try and improve their games. But why only make rules for the players on the field? Why not also make new rules for the fans, officials, and the media who cover them? Besides the obvious fact that it would be out of their jurisdictions and utterly [...]

Live Blog: Home Run Derby

Tonight it’s The Exhibition Before the Exhibition: the Home Run Derby in Anaheim.

As Mark McGwire once famously asked us all, “do you want to know the terrifying truth, or would you rather see me sock a few dingers?” To which we all replied “Dingers! Dingers! Oooh! Aah!”
Then we all savagely turned on him.
Dingers, baby! [...]

World Cup 2010 Final: Spain is Offically the Greatest Country on Earth

Andres Iniesta blasted home the World Cup-winning goal in the 116th minute, (26 minutes into extra time) giving Spain the championship of the 2010 World Cup, defeating the Dutch, the Netherlands and Holland with one lethal drive, and proving for once and for all that Spain is the greatest country on earth (for at least [...]

Boston Beats L.A. in the Big Game! Red Sox 10, Dodgers 6.

When this season’s schedule came out, Red Sox fans circled the date of June 18, when the Los Angeles Dodgers would be at Fenway Park, for it would be the night of The Return: a former Red Sox hero coming back to the site of his glory, the most anticipated Fenway reunion in quite a [...]

2010 World Cup Preview and Guide

The World Cup is a worldwide festival of sports fanaticism and media hype that is unparalleled on earth, and most other planets. Imagine a month-long Super Bowl, crossed with March Madness, multiplied by the Olympics, and presented by the United Nations.
This thing is getting so big, even Americans are now starting to pay attention.
But since [...]

Live Blog, Boston Sports Night: Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics, NFL Draft

FINAL SCORES:
Red Sox 4, Orioles 3 — Celtics 100, Heat 98 — Sabres 4, Bruins 1
All four major Boston pro sports teams are in action tonight, for possibly the only time ever. The Red Sox will try to get their season going against the Orioles, the Patriots will be deciding which gargantuan corn-fed college behemoth [...]

Patriots’ Day Pummeling: Rays Sweep Red Sox

Tampa Bay slapped the Red Sox all over Fenway Park, again outclassing them in every aspect of baseball, wrapping up their four-game series sweep with an easy 8-2 trouncing that was not as close as the score might indicate.
The Rays jumped out to another early lead in the first inning and never looked back, adding [...]

The 2010 Red Sox: Everything Lasts Forever!

The Red Sox have played seven games so far, approximately 4% of the season, so it’s time to look at the facts and reach some conclusions. I’ll do the math, so all you’ll have to do is call up the talk radio shows and complain, because things are ugly and are on pace to stay that [...]

Live Blog: Yankees at Red Sox, Opening Night. April 4, 2010

FINAL SCORE: Red Sox 9, Yankees 7
98 years of Opening DAY at Fenway Park tradition ends tonight, because ESPN wants it to. It’s not just ESPN though; Tuesday and Wednesday’s games will also be played at night, to increase TV ratings. Because when it’s Yanks/Sox Rivalry ™, it’s got to be played in Prime Time! [...]

Red Sox Nation Buys Naming Rights to New Yankee Stadium

A consortium of celebrity Boston Red Sox fans today announced that they have purchased the naming rights to Yankee Stadium, and might change the name to A.H.O.L.E. Stadium.
The group, led by Red Sox owner John Henry and celebrity fans such as Ben Affleck and Denis Leary, among others, made an anonymous bid of over $100 [...]

Screaming for Vengeance, Dying for Goals: Bruins Win Fight, Lose Another Game

If you want blood… you almost got it.
But not quite.
Matt Cooke showed his face in Boston, and Shawn Thornton punched it, giving Bruins fans some satisfaction, despite the fact that the Small, Not-Good Bruins were shut out by the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-0.
As every NHL fan knows, Cooke delivered a cheap head-shot to Bruins star forward [...]

Canada 3, USA 2: Canada Narrowly Averts National Humiliation, Wins Gold Medal

Do you believe in dramatic yet predictable outcomes?
Olympic hockey favorites Canada narrowly avoided losing on their home ice in their national sport to their hated rivals, the sixth-seeded Team USA, for the second time in a week, winning the gold medal on Sidney Crosby’s sudden-death overtime strike.
In a tense, well-played, and dramatic game, Team USA [...]

Red Sox Sign Brian Shouse, Basically Clinch Pennant

Red Sox Sign Brian Shouse, Basically Clinch Pennant.

Baltimore Ravens at New England Patriots: Live Blog

Final: Baltimore 33, New England 14
NFL PLAYOFFS BABY! Ballmer vs. Bahston: The Wire vs. Cheers; Diner vs. Good Will Hunting, Crab Cakes vs. Clam Chowder; Murdertown vs. Egghead Liberals; various other stereotypes, etc. etc. It’s NFL playoff time! Are you drunk yet?
As of now we’re still in Hour Two of the Interminable Pregame Show. The [...]

Bruins Hand Canadiens An Anniversary Gift, Lose 5-1

The humble, self-effacing Montreal Canadiens franchise tonight began their upcoming three-year long celebration of the first anniversary of their 100th year of existence by routing the Bruins 5-1.
For a 25-year anniversary, the traditional gift is silver; for the 50th, it’s gold. For their 100th anniversary, the Bruins gifted Montreal an easy 5-1 victory. The charming [...]